Late Nights & Early Mornings.

Dreams- A seris of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occuring invlountarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

Dreams are sometimes callled; "moments of clariy" or "moments of our true emotions and thoughts". If this is true, have you had a dream that felt so real it put a worry on your mind. Now I'm not talking about a dream of someones death or a loss, but more of a "gain". A premonition that a relationship was develpoed with a person way out of left field. That "Ah Ha!" moment when your heart and brain spoke in unison (Jinx! moment). Where do you go from there? Avoid all the signs or super glue your feet to the concrete and grab the metal rail to brace yourself for the impact. Fear paralizes us to the unknown, and the unknown becomes a manifest of fear.

"Embrace the unknown, and love fear"

Stack a Million.

It's funny how one moment can seem so divine and so right, when you put no effort or thought into it. But how can a person live without thinking things through?

"Sometimes you have to live for things bigger than your mind can grasp"

A friend asked me if I live by this then what purpose do I have in life? My answer: It's called living! Yeah people say they do the things they do for their kids, making parents proud, love, etc. Why not get back to the basics and live simply because you have LIFE! I am a HUGE believer that I was put on this Earth for a greater cause, although I couldn't tell you what, but I know it.

I live life simply because I have opprotunity to be or do whatever I desire. And most of the "G.O.A.T" do so also.

And every minute that you're gone....

Ok, this is a matter that I BEEN wanting to blog about, but haven't gotten around to it.

And the time is now! So I was watching music videos [my fave pasttime] and I came across a video that REALLY touched me. I don't think this artist could have executed the message any better. "Marsh Ambrosius- Far Away".

Me growing up with openly out men in my life with Alternative lifestyles I never seen anything wrong with the deicison. I feel a human being is a human being regardless of who they choose to love. As human being with flaws ourselves who are we to judge someone on emotions they can't control. I have seen with my own eyes the cruelity that "straight" people express to those of homosexual pereference. And it hurts my soul to the core cause these people can be the BEST you will ever met and you refuse to give this person a chance becasue you aren't comfortable with whom they choose to love.

Now to move on to the subject I really wanna touch, Bisexuality. Now I may offend some with this and not your typical offend. I have no issue at all with people who claim they love both sexes. I have friends who I love dearly who are bisexual [both man and woman]. Now the issue at hand is the people who aren't open about and lie about it. That's where most of the ill feelings towards Bi people in my opinion stem from. Now someone asked me a few weeks ago in an debate "Well would you date a bisexual man?" my answer with a straight face "Yes I would, but..." and of course I was badgered on my reasons why. And I simply said if a man loved me, like TRULY loved me, and was open from the start of liking men and women then who am I to decline that. Now as for the but, this issue [my personal issue] on why most likley I wouldn't deal with someone that likes both sexes it's because they are pulling things from each sex that the other lacks to complete their full needs. Just the same as a heterosexual man would date 2 women or a woman date 2 men. And that would be the reason for my "BUT" I would not date a bisexual man for the same reason I would not date a heterosexual man that dates 2 women. I will never be the ONLY one for a time being if ever. As a person that one day wants to be in love you NEED to know that person that you love is going to whole heartdly love you the same and I don't think that's possible with a person that loves both sexes. Disagree if you want, but it's my Blog and my opinions right? RIGHT! Now with that said I am done and enjoy the video if you must.

Money & Sex. Fucking & Checks.

Ok I'm having the ILLEST issue with sleeping right now so why not speak upon my thoughts right? right. So lately I been really engrossed in life and working, but the other day I had a convo with a person that had my gears grinding. And it was about YET AGAIN relationships. By now we can say that's my least strongest point in life but hey you live and you learn.

Well the subject was why I won't surrender and just give into him. Cause in his eyes I'm not showing interest cause I'm not physical with him [Which is a crock of bull to me, but hey]. And I'm thinking in my head the longer you hold out the more you know if you wanna deal with that person. Well his opinion is I don't wanna deal with him is cause I'm looking for more than what he wants to offer; the answer: yes AND no. I'm not looking for a serious relationship nor to get married, but I'm also growing sick of being in my comfort zone. I've dealt with men with his caliber and nothing is wrong with them except they can't be consistent and that's exactly what my problem is. Now like any growing adult I want to inquire and learn and you can't do that doing the same thing over and over agian. Now I don't know how to say this to him without him thinking I'm trying to tie him down. But what I'm looking for is simple: Someone that is going to push me beyond my boundaries and take me out my zone and make me want and look forward to something I wasn't expecting. Is that too much to ask for from a person?

Smokers Club tour

"Fuck you doing? Bullshittin"

Well hello there Honey Bunnies!!! It's been a long while [2 months to be exact] and I'm sure you're wondering what I have to say and it's quite alot. But let's start with the MOST recent.
So this blog is about Human habit. Let's look at the definition of HABIT first:

Habit- A recurrent, often unconcious pattern of beahavior that is acquired through frequent repetition; An estanblished disposition of the mind or character.

Now, with that said lets get into MY human habit. I have this nasty little habit about men [and maybe it's the testosterone in my system]. I love a man of intellect, cultured, and well rounded all together, BUT I also have this soft spot for a cute face and nice smile. And that is my personal flaw I can admit that.

Well I met this guy, where I met him? I digress, and we hung out. He's cool but there was NO spark no convo no urge to want more EXCEPT the fact that his face was so cute and his teeth extra straight. Doesn't do too much with his days givng the career choice he has that's understandable. But after sitting there for a few hours and finding myself picking apart the good and the bad [FYI the bad basket starting to get slightly heavy]. I STILL wanted to see him again. Now lets chalk it up to saying it was my hormones speaking to my brain, but really Telly? Do you really wanna do this just cause he can produce cute kids or are you gonna go for a little more substance this time. Cause we ALL know how the other one went.

So days has gone by and Im still debating if I'm gonna call him back. Now answer me this? Everyone goes through a phase when looks matter over EVERYTHING else presented, and that's normal. But when is it too old to live with that thought process? When should one stop letting their vagina/penis steer the boat and use the common sense that makes the most sense.

It's a shame...

Blogspot family how are we this Sunday afternoon? Let's get to the point. So I took the new guy out with me last night [my friends had a cook-out/pool party]. That party in itself was a story, but I digress. So I took him out into my habitat, now my friends can get wild too he probably seen some shit he ain't never seen before also but still.

Ok the issue of the day was to see if he can have one night, JUST ONE NIGHT, of being errrrrr different. Did it happen? EPIC FAIL.

Mind you every time I do hang out with the boy, which I can count on one hand, he is intoxicated. Now I don't know how other people do it, but if you're trying to pursue a person your best bet is to do it in a sober state. This boy does not comprehend that, which makes me think can he even comprehend the responisbilities of life PERIOD! [Doubt it].

So we're at this party people are drinking, some smoking, I kept it real light weight [No beer, one long island, and a few cups of Hunch Punch diluted with sprite] cause I'm thinking #1. I'm driving #2. He has to be entertained. Cool we eating, having fun, talking, and he's having drinks ok cool that's why I brought him so he can drink.

Then the night has an turning point. He has had 5 Hunch Punches, and countless amounts of beer, and THEN smokes. I mean do we not have limits? you're not in your own home. Matter of fact you're not even around people you know...

So I began to let him do him and he gets offened cause I remove myself from the situation after telling him numerous of times he is getting loud and obnixous. I'm in the house with my best friend at this point, the weed smoke was becoming annoying, then her drunk boyfriend and my drunk date come up stairs within a timely time frame. He is STILL drinking!!!

Ok it's time to go I have other things to do and I shall do them. We are in the car and when I tell you I don't say a word, I DON'T SAY A WORD. He asks why am I ignoring him and I say politely "I don't not converse well with intoxicated people for we have nothing to talk about". Of course, he says he's not drunk, but he's slurring and making no sense. And tells me I can't say he is ALWAYS drunk cause I only hung with him a few times. Well Sherlock if everytime I see you, and you're drunk guess what that's all I know you as.

Well the moral of the story is. He just runined any incline of good hopes I had in him. And I hope he wakes up in the morning and remembers that he offically has NO chance in hell to even be my friend.

It's a sad shame how some black men fall right into that hole that society has created for them called "Sterotype". Makes you start to wonder if there is even slight chance of hope for our black men at all.