Money & Sex. Fucking & Checks.

Ok I'm having the ILLEST issue with sleeping right now so why not speak upon my thoughts right? right. So lately I been really engrossed in life and working, but the other day I had a convo with a person that had my gears grinding. And it was about YET AGAIN relationships. By now we can say that's my least strongest point in life but hey you live and you learn.

Well the subject was why I won't surrender and just give into him. Cause in his eyes I'm not showing interest cause I'm not physical with him [Which is a crock of bull to me, but hey]. And I'm thinking in my head the longer you hold out the more you know if you wanna deal with that person. Well his opinion is I don't wanna deal with him is cause I'm looking for more than what he wants to offer; the answer: yes AND no. I'm not looking for a serious relationship nor to get married, but I'm also growing sick of being in my comfort zone. I've dealt with men with his caliber and nothing is wrong with them except they can't be consistent and that's exactly what my problem is. Now like any growing adult I want to inquire and learn and you can't do that doing the same thing over and over agian. Now I don't know how to say this to him without him thinking I'm trying to tie him down. But what I'm looking for is simple: Someone that is going to push me beyond my boundaries and take me out my zone and make me want and look forward to something I wasn't expecting. Is that too much to ask for from a person?

Smokers Club tour

"Fuck you doing? Bullshittin"

Well hello there Honey Bunnies!!! It's been a long while [2 months to be exact] and I'm sure you're wondering what I have to say and it's quite alot. But let's start with the MOST recent.
So this blog is about Human habit. Let's look at the definition of HABIT first:

Habit- A recurrent, often unconcious pattern of beahavior that is acquired through frequent repetition; An estanblished disposition of the mind or character.

Now, with that said lets get into MY human habit. I have this nasty little habit about men [and maybe it's the testosterone in my system]. I love a man of intellect, cultured, and well rounded all together, BUT I also have this soft spot for a cute face and nice smile. And that is my personal flaw I can admit that.

Well I met this guy, where I met him? I digress, and we hung out. He's cool but there was NO spark no convo no urge to want more EXCEPT the fact that his face was so cute and his teeth extra straight. Doesn't do too much with his days givng the career choice he has that's understandable. But after sitting there for a few hours and finding myself picking apart the good and the bad [FYI the bad basket starting to get slightly heavy]. I STILL wanted to see him again. Now lets chalk it up to saying it was my hormones speaking to my brain, but really Telly? Do you really wanna do this just cause he can produce cute kids or are you gonna go for a little more substance this time. Cause we ALL know how the other one went.

So days has gone by and Im still debating if I'm gonna call him back. Now answer me this? Everyone goes through a phase when looks matter over EVERYTHING else presented, and that's normal. But when is it too old to live with that thought process? When should one stop letting their vagina/penis steer the boat and use the common sense that makes the most sense.

It's a shame...

Blogspot family how are we this Sunday afternoon? Let's get to the point. So I took the new guy out with me last night [my friends had a cook-out/pool party]. That party in itself was a story, but I digress. So I took him out into my habitat, now my friends can get wild too he probably seen some shit he ain't never seen before also but still.

Ok the issue of the day was to see if he can have one night, JUST ONE NIGHT, of being errrrrr different. Did it happen? EPIC FAIL.

Mind you every time I do hang out with the boy, which I can count on one hand, he is intoxicated. Now I don't know how other people do it, but if you're trying to pursue a person your best bet is to do it in a sober state. This boy does not comprehend that, which makes me think can he even comprehend the responisbilities of life PERIOD! [Doubt it].

So we're at this party people are drinking, some smoking, I kept it real light weight [No beer, one long island, and a few cups of Hunch Punch diluted with sprite] cause I'm thinking #1. I'm driving #2. He has to be entertained. Cool we eating, having fun, talking, and he's having drinks ok cool that's why I brought him so he can drink.

Then the night has an turning point. He has had 5 Hunch Punches, and countless amounts of beer, and THEN smokes. I mean do we not have limits? you're not in your own home. Matter of fact you're not even around people you know...

So I began to let him do him and he gets offened cause I remove myself from the situation after telling him numerous of times he is getting loud and obnixous. I'm in the house with my best friend at this point, the weed smoke was becoming annoying, then her drunk boyfriend and my drunk date come up stairs within a timely time frame. He is STILL drinking!!!

Ok it's time to go I have other things to do and I shall do them. We are in the car and when I tell you I don't say a word, I DON'T SAY A WORD. He asks why am I ignoring him and I say politely "I don't not converse well with intoxicated people for we have nothing to talk about". Of course, he says he's not drunk, but he's slurring and making no sense. And tells me I can't say he is ALWAYS drunk cause I only hung with him a few times. Well Sherlock if everytime I see you, and you're drunk guess what that's all I know you as.

Well the moral of the story is. He just runined any incline of good hopes I had in him. And I hope he wakes up in the morning and remembers that he offically has NO chance in hell to even be my friend.

It's a sad shame how some black men fall right into that hole that society has created for them called "Sterotype". Makes you start to wonder if there is even slight chance of hope for our black men at all.

Mission Two STALLED...

OK So We have established and succeeded in Mission 1.

He is reeled in and out for the bait.

But there is a SLIGHT snag in the preplanned stages before we can start Mission 2.

HE HAS LIFE ISSUES!

Not to put the boys business out in the street, so I digress, but lets just say we are MOST DEF not on the same page. I mean in life decisions I'm way ahead of him. Now how do you work with that? I asked this to several people and got the same answer.

Take it one day at a time.

So I'm gonna slow down on running into Mission 2 and iron out the works before I get my hands REALLY dirty. Cause we got A LOT of dirt and grime to scrub off.

Love.Live.Life.Proceed.Progress.

Ok so as I was talking to my friend COYE. We came to this conclusion he calls: BUILD-A-BEAR!

But in honesty I'm gonna do what you men do everyday and that's take a man [in my case] and "train" him into the man I'm looking for.

BACKGROUND:

So I met this guy and he is a REAL cutie, looks a lot like my current celeb crush Wiz Khalifa [See Above Picture], and I mean he's the right height and all. So he phoned me up tonight and we talked about basic things and likes. And the convo was nice a cool and full of laughter until.....

He told me he doesn't know who Wiz Khalifa is...WHUTTTTTT?!?!?

I was crushed. But okay not a deal breaker. He said "Well baby girl you gonna have to just school me on it." As the convo continues he states to me that He's not really that book smart and he likes to involve himself with smart women based on that. And I'm thinking it couldn't be that bad...And then I ask him about his siblings [He doesn't know what it means!!!]. I'm thinking MAN I'M FUCKED! but he's so damn cute!

So I tell COYE and he says "Well Train him" DING! DING! DING! So this is my blog on progression. I am gonna take this man and mold him into something more suitable to my current needs. I guess Dress him and teach how to talk too huh? AT COYE. So here we go y'all join me on my "shallow girl" journey.

MISSION ONE: BUILD-A-MAN, FOUNDATION HIS CUTE FACE

Absolutely- Sometimes!

Okay the subject at hand today is can you be on the 3rd floor of the Life's House and still be in a relationship with a basement dweller or a first floor live in. The answer? Absolutely- Sometimes!

The key in order to live sanely in what would seem insane to others is to remain CENTERED. You may ask how can I stay on my correct path and not get caught up in my partners drama? If love is truly present, it will create a common ground for the two of you on which you both can stand on. The hard part will be for you not to try and convince the other person that they must do what you are doing. and The tricky part for them is to not feel threatened by what you are doing. Love will help you bring the situation into balance. The resistance will help you build your spiritual muscles. However, you must not let difference descend into conflict.

Transition and Rebuild

We come to a point of our lives where what we been doing for years and years no longer works. It's like we wake up and want a whole new meaning, listen to this voice! Sometimes becoming in tuned with your spirit can help put things in you life into alignment. Let's apply this to relationships (of any kind) and your love life. If you are dating a person and after whatever period of time elapse you start to feel you like this person. What is the common thing people do? Become intimate, whether it's just a kiss or sexual, but it is INTIMATE. What if we take a few steps back and reevaluate the situation and listen to the inner voice of reason. If you had listened all along you would notice that it would have saved you a lot of trouble. Hypothecially:

Sarah meets a guy named James and from skin surface he is all her type. Naturally Sarah would have listened to the bells ringing that he is the one believing it was her brain, which always turned out to be her Vagina! But this time was different Sarah was on a self quest, she was on her way to self-love. So Sarah sat James down and explained to him "I have these bells ringing in my head that have nothing to do with you. I have to move slowly for myself. I have to honor what I am feeling in order to be sure I'm doing what is right for me." Make your agenda clear, and accept responsibility for yourself. If the person is not truly a loving teacher who has come to help you heal telling them the truth will make them disappear. Sarah told James and he laughed. This was not disappearing, but some tests can be confusing. Sarah continued the situation slowly. One day James kissed her, 5 months later without ANY intimate notation, he kissed her. 40 months of not being kissed she panicked, but she listened to that voice and it yelled "Danger!" and he laughed. After that night he turned into the ugliest person a human being could manifest. The relationship lasted 3 more weeks. And she was relieved when it died down. When it was said and done Sarah had broken another pattern.

This is an example that if you sit back and listen to that voice things work in your light.

The Four P's

Product.Price.Packaging.Promotion.

This phrase "the four P's" usually pertains to the marketing field, giving the fact I am a Marketing major. This can also apply to yourself in the growth field.

Product. Say you are the product and you are in the need of development. You have to be clear about who you really are and what you want. If you want your product to be received in the market, you must be able to describe it, define it, and articulate to others, those who will buy it, exactly what it is and what it can do.

Price. Once you know what or whom your product is, you must decide on the pricing. In self-development this is defined as self worth. It is understanding you don't have to settle for just anything that comes your way, no matter how rushed you feel.

Packaging. When you are in a loving, nurturing, and peaceful place within yourself; people and things alike follow suit. This is your personal packaging.

Promotion. Is knowing how you are going to reach those you want to attract. It's not so much of your result, but the response to who you are, how you feel, and what you are thinking.

The Four P's is a great way to elevate yourself in self development.

Father's Day

I just wanted to say HAPPY DADDY DAY to my father.

He may not be the best, but he is the coolest.

-The End-

Workshop

Lets place ourselves in a workshop scenario. Say you are asked a question, and question is: "If you could have anything you wanted in the world, something that would make your life all that you want it to be, what would it be?"

Most of us would answer with money, house, or career. But this is not the correct way. I want an answer in a spiritually enlightened manner. For example, I answered in a first minded response CLARITY. I was quite proud of myself honestly, to me that showed growth. But lets go back to the average answer... If you said money then answer this: "Do you want money, or do you want the freedom money brings you?". If you answered the freedom, why not ask for freedom "and let the universe bring it to you in the divine and right way".

Now if you couldn't answer then ask yourself in this manner; "What do I really want?" This process is simple. Make a list. Write down all of the answers you received from the previous question, turning each response into this statement: "What I really want is ________." Limit your response to three to five words. Example: "What I really want is to experience freedom of movement." And avoid using "by" example "What I really want is to be loved by _____." The key is to remember that no one can give you what you cannot give yourself.

Day5

All the questions you ask yourself

On an everyday basis we find ourselves asking the age old question: "Where am I?"

This does not pertain in a physical sense, but more of an emotional, mental, and even spiritual sense. Whether it be you're angry, confused, or simply just trying to grow. I read this great method to clear your mind and channel out all other noise and voices in order to listen to the voice of truth... YOURSELF!

1. Get Still. Focus on your breath. Find its rhythm and listen to yourself breathing for three to five minutes.
2. Call forth the presence of light, love, and spirit by reciting a prayer or repeating an affirmation.
3. Ask all voices in your head to be silent so that you can hear the voice of spirit.
4. Ask ONE question.
5. Listen for the answer. You may want to write the answer down- that means write what comes into your mind. Do not censor it, write it. Once you have written, read the response.
6. Begin the process again and ask another question.

If nothing comes to you then, do not ask another question. It may come in an unexpected form like a song may arouse certain feelings or memories. That's the answer! Or someone may say to you, "You sure look/sound _______". That's the answer! It can happen in several ways. Just be clear minded and receptive of it.

Day4

Take out the Trash

Okay lets refer back to the previous post.

The healing process on the second floor in Life's House centers on these coinciding things:

• Vision (Getting it clear).
• Integrity (What you are willing to do in pursuit of your vision).
• Intent (What it is that you are trying to accomplish).
• Expectations (What you believe about what you are trying to accomplish).

All of which can be obscured or polluted by the trash we hold in our minds.

-Iyanla Vanzant

Day3

Relationship Logic

So I been reading this book lately in between homework and my social life. And it's called "In the Meantime". Now it basically explains that any time or events in life from birth to finding your destined true love that God has set aside for you is considered "meantime". These are experiences that are to build your knowledge and heart to love your true love with the highest ability. And to me this is VERY logical information. When I began to read the first 2 stages of [what they refer to as Life's House] : The Basement and The First floor. I thought to myself "So every relationship I encounter; sexual, family, friends, etc. Is just for lessons learned?" Answer: CORRECT. So for that matter if I meet a guy and I spend a bit of time with him. Enough time to consider him my boyfriend, but since I know I am at a stage of my life where I'm right in the middle of rock bottom and the sky high top in "Life's House" exactly on the second or third floor, and the attic being the highest. I'm aware I still have healing to do so I know this person is NOT "the one", but merely a "meantime"experience. Is it safe or better yet smart to say: "Hey I like you, you like me and we spend enjoyable time together, but you are only here to satisfy me, have fun with, and entertain me until our route is over". Because at this point of your life Honesty is one of the important factors. Now with me being a logical and ambidextrous thinker, I feel that this is the perfect way to start a relationship clean slate, open, and honest.

But what if the other person isn't reciprocal of this?

Do you be dishonest with yourself and them?

Or stay true to yourself and risk a bad situation with the other party?

DAY 2

The Revamp

I'm not new to this [Hence the title].
If you're wondering what THEOSOPHY means look it up.

I'm gonna use this as a random rampage, but it'll be good shit though.

Lets see how long this is gonna last.
DAY 1.