Money & Sex. Fucking & Checks.

Ok I'm having the ILLEST issue with sleeping right now so why not speak upon my thoughts right? right. So lately I been really engrossed in life and working, but the other day I had a convo with a person that had my gears grinding. And it was about YET AGAIN relationships. By now we can say that's my least strongest point in life but hey you live and you learn.

Well the subject was why I won't surrender and just give into him. Cause in his eyes I'm not showing interest cause I'm not physical with him [Which is a crock of bull to me, but hey]. And I'm thinking in my head the longer you hold out the more you know if you wanna deal with that person. Well his opinion is I don't wanna deal with him is cause I'm looking for more than what he wants to offer; the answer: yes AND no. I'm not looking for a serious relationship nor to get married, but I'm also growing sick of being in my comfort zone. I've dealt with men with his caliber and nothing is wrong with them except they can't be consistent and that's exactly what my problem is. Now like any growing adult I want to inquire and learn and you can't do that doing the same thing over and over agian. Now I don't know how to say this to him without him thinking I'm trying to tie him down. But what I'm looking for is simple: Someone that is going to push me beyond my boundaries and take me out my zone and make me want and look forward to something I wasn't expecting. Is that too much to ask for from a person?

Smokers Club tour

"Fuck you doing? Bullshittin"

Well hello there Honey Bunnies!!! It's been a long while [2 months to be exact] and I'm sure you're wondering what I have to say and it's quite alot. But let's start with the MOST recent.
So this blog is about Human habit. Let's look at the definition of HABIT first:

Habit- A recurrent, often unconcious pattern of beahavior that is acquired through frequent repetition; An estanblished disposition of the mind or character.

Now, with that said lets get into MY human habit. I have this nasty little habit about men [and maybe it's the testosterone in my system]. I love a man of intellect, cultured, and well rounded all together, BUT I also have this soft spot for a cute face and nice smile. And that is my personal flaw I can admit that.

Well I met this guy, where I met him? I digress, and we hung out. He's cool but there was NO spark no convo no urge to want more EXCEPT the fact that his face was so cute and his teeth extra straight. Doesn't do too much with his days givng the career choice he has that's understandable. But after sitting there for a few hours and finding myself picking apart the good and the bad [FYI the bad basket starting to get slightly heavy]. I STILL wanted to see him again. Now lets chalk it up to saying it was my hormones speaking to my brain, but really Telly? Do you really wanna do this just cause he can produce cute kids or are you gonna go for a little more substance this time. Cause we ALL know how the other one went.

So days has gone by and Im still debating if I'm gonna call him back. Now answer me this? Everyone goes through a phase when looks matter over EVERYTHING else presented, and that's normal. But when is it too old to live with that thought process? When should one stop letting their vagina/penis steer the boat and use the common sense that makes the most sense.

It's a shame...

Blogspot family how are we this Sunday afternoon? Let's get to the point. So I took the new guy out with me last night [my friends had a cook-out/pool party]. That party in itself was a story, but I digress. So I took him out into my habitat, now my friends can get wild too he probably seen some shit he ain't never seen before also but still.

Ok the issue of the day was to see if he can have one night, JUST ONE NIGHT, of being errrrrr different. Did it happen? EPIC FAIL.

Mind you every time I do hang out with the boy, which I can count on one hand, he is intoxicated. Now I don't know how other people do it, but if you're trying to pursue a person your best bet is to do it in a sober state. This boy does not comprehend that, which makes me think can he even comprehend the responisbilities of life PERIOD! [Doubt it].

So we're at this party people are drinking, some smoking, I kept it real light weight [No beer, one long island, and a few cups of Hunch Punch diluted with sprite] cause I'm thinking #1. I'm driving #2. He has to be entertained. Cool we eating, having fun, talking, and he's having drinks ok cool that's why I brought him so he can drink.

Then the night has an turning point. He has had 5 Hunch Punches, and countless amounts of beer, and THEN smokes. I mean do we not have limits? you're not in your own home. Matter of fact you're not even around people you know...

So I began to let him do him and he gets offened cause I remove myself from the situation after telling him numerous of times he is getting loud and obnixous. I'm in the house with my best friend at this point, the weed smoke was becoming annoying, then her drunk boyfriend and my drunk date come up stairs within a timely time frame. He is STILL drinking!!!

Ok it's time to go I have other things to do and I shall do them. We are in the car and when I tell you I don't say a word, I DON'T SAY A WORD. He asks why am I ignoring him and I say politely "I don't not converse well with intoxicated people for we have nothing to talk about". Of course, he says he's not drunk, but he's slurring and making no sense. And tells me I can't say he is ALWAYS drunk cause I only hung with him a few times. Well Sherlock if everytime I see you, and you're drunk guess what that's all I know you as.

Well the moral of the story is. He just runined any incline of good hopes I had in him. And I hope he wakes up in the morning and remembers that he offically has NO chance in hell to even be my friend.

It's a sad shame how some black men fall right into that hole that society has created for them called "Sterotype". Makes you start to wonder if there is even slight chance of hope for our black men at all.

Mission Two STALLED...

OK So We have established and succeeded in Mission 1.

He is reeled in and out for the bait.

But there is a SLIGHT snag in the preplanned stages before we can start Mission 2.

HE HAS LIFE ISSUES!

Not to put the boys business out in the street, so I digress, but lets just say we are MOST DEF not on the same page. I mean in life decisions I'm way ahead of him. Now how do you work with that? I asked this to several people and got the same answer.

Take it one day at a time.

So I'm gonna slow down on running into Mission 2 and iron out the works before I get my hands REALLY dirty. Cause we got A LOT of dirt and grime to scrub off.

Love.Live.Life.Proceed.Progress.

Ok so as I was talking to my friend COYE. We came to this conclusion he calls: BUILD-A-BEAR!

But in honesty I'm gonna do what you men do everyday and that's take a man [in my case] and "train" him into the man I'm looking for.

BACKGROUND:

So I met this guy and he is a REAL cutie, looks a lot like my current celeb crush Wiz Khalifa [See Above Picture], and I mean he's the right height and all. So he phoned me up tonight and we talked about basic things and likes. And the convo was nice a cool and full of laughter until.....

He told me he doesn't know who Wiz Khalifa is...WHUTTTTTT?!?!?

I was crushed. But okay not a deal breaker. He said "Well baby girl you gonna have to just school me on it." As the convo continues he states to me that He's not really that book smart and he likes to involve himself with smart women based on that. And I'm thinking it couldn't be that bad...And then I ask him about his siblings [He doesn't know what it means!!!]. I'm thinking MAN I'M FUCKED! but he's so damn cute!

So I tell COYE and he says "Well Train him" DING! DING! DING! So this is my blog on progression. I am gonna take this man and mold him into something more suitable to my current needs. I guess Dress him and teach how to talk too huh? AT COYE. So here we go y'all join me on my "shallow girl" journey.

MISSION ONE: BUILD-A-MAN, FOUNDATION HIS CUTE FACE

Absolutely- Sometimes!

Okay the subject at hand today is can you be on the 3rd floor of the Life's House and still be in a relationship with a basement dweller or a first floor live in. The answer? Absolutely- Sometimes!

The key in order to live sanely in what would seem insane to others is to remain CENTERED. You may ask how can I stay on my correct path and not get caught up in my partners drama? If love is truly present, it will create a common ground for the two of you on which you both can stand on. The hard part will be for you not to try and convince the other person that they must do what you are doing. and The tricky part for them is to not feel threatened by what you are doing. Love will help you bring the situation into balance. The resistance will help you build your spiritual muscles. However, you must not let difference descend into conflict.